Shame

I’m sure many of you have seen this image online. Whether it be Pinterest, Facebook, or various other social media sites. What kind of feelings do you have when you look at this?

My first reaction was….Yay curves! I’m a bigger girl, so everyone should accept me and find me attractive for who I am. I should be considered normal and that’s what every man should be attracted to. I’m not a small by any means, nor have I ever been. I have had my moments where I got down to an acceptable weight and my BMI was within “normal” range. Although, thin and Ellie have never been mentioned in the same sentence. I looked at the pic again and let the words sink in.

“Real men”….. what is a REAL man? I thought all men were real. I didn’t realize that those who dated thin girls were androids or creepy Martians from outer space who tried so hard to blend in as humans while walking around Earth. Then I thought… this picture is trying to say that thin people are unattractive and can’t possible by wanted by a member of the opposite sex. Men are “dogs” if they’re attracted to a thinner person? All a thin person is…. Is just bones? A plaything for a pet?

There’s something called body shaming that has existed for quite a while. Mainly people being judgmental towards larger people, calling them fat, lazy, a slob, etc. It made them so sad and ashamed of being in their own skin. So what happened? Society continued to expand at the waist, and now around 66% of American adults are overweight. Overweight people continued to demand acceptance by society and in the process, began to talk negatively about people who didn’t look like them. People have no idea if that thin person is struggling while trying to gain weight, or involved in sports that keep them naturally thin, or even if they have medical condition that prevents them from gaining. The same way that thin people do not know if the same is true for overweight people. It hardly seems productive to take the anger and pain you feel about being made to feel awful about your body… and lash out at others the same way.

Body shaming works both ways although it seems to be more focused on thinner people today. No one is safe from the scrutinizing eyes of others. No one will have “the perfect body”. There is a reason we are created differently. Different hair color and type. Different skin tones. Different facial features. Different bodies. While it is easy to label people a certain way and make assumptions about their lifestyles and habits, you really have no idea.

Bottom line, it's never okay, either way. It is extremely unfair for people to look at another person and talk negatively because that person is built different than themselves. Are they happy? Then mind your business. Don’t know if they’re happy? Still… mind your own business.