When did I stop caring?
When I first met my husband, I made sure that I was presentable. I did my best to look as good as I possibly could (or as good as someone covered in tattoos and pink hair could look). I took pride in my appearance, even if it was just lounging around the house. I had very few responsibilities at that point, except for my 14 year old daughter who didn't require much attention. :) Now, I'm a mother to a teenager and a toddler. I work full time. I go to school full time. I have somewhat of a side business. I'm busy. Constantly.
I have a routine for when I leave the house in the morning. Many women spend a while to get ready for work or for their day. They care about how they look and want to show the world that they are put together and beautiful. I wake up, and leave the house within 15 minutes in the morning. Having showered and laid out my clothes the night before, I brush my teeth, pull on my clothes and deodorant, grab my lunch, and run out of the door. My hair is hastily thrown in with a rubber band and about 15 bobby pins (thanks to my last awful haircut). No make up.... not even a thin coat of mascara. Since I have yo-yo'd in size the last few years, most of my clothes are ill fitting, so not at all flattering. When I am at home on the weekend, I wear flannel pajama bottoms and a tank top. Hair is thrown up in a haphazard bun or something similar, and I'm usually barefoot. The only time that I take a little time to actually apply make up or do my hair, is when my husband and I are going out on a date or something.
The question I always wonder though... is does he deserve more. Of course he does. He deserves to see the woman he fell in love with. A woman who shows pride in herself and her appearance. A woman that makes the extra effort for him. However, my husband is also the type that will see me waking up from a dead sleep, hair matted to my face and horrible morning breath... and still tell me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am.
Needless to say, I'm torn on the issue. I just wonder.... what was the point that I actually stopped caring about my appearance? When was the first time that I woke up on the morning and thought... f*&@ it..... I'll just go like this. Then it became acceptable and it kept on. I believe that it may do with the fact that I feel awful about myself lately. My weight gain and appearance is taking a toll on me and how I present myself to others. I am just toolazy tired as of late. I'm hoping that one day soon, I wake up and remember what I used to look like, and realize that my husband deserves better. That I deserve better.
I'm not saying that I need a face full of make up. I've never done that. I usually throw a thin layer of eyeliner, mascara, and sometimes lipstick. I'm speaking more of my whole overall appearance. Taking care of my body and eating right. Exercising. Taking the time to do my hair and finding clothes that look good on me. I just want my husband to know that he's worth the extra few minutes it takes me to get ready. Because he is. My children are worth the extra few minutes. I.... am worth the extra few minutes.
I have a routine for when I leave the house in the morning. Many women spend a while to get ready for work or for their day. They care about how they look and want to show the world that they are put together and beautiful. I wake up, and leave the house within 15 minutes in the morning. Having showered and laid out my clothes the night before, I brush my teeth, pull on my clothes and deodorant, grab my lunch, and run out of the door. My hair is hastily thrown in with a rubber band and about 15 bobby pins (thanks to my last awful haircut). No make up.... not even a thin coat of mascara. Since I have yo-yo'd in size the last few years, most of my clothes are ill fitting, so not at all flattering. When I am at home on the weekend, I wear flannel pajama bottoms and a tank top. Hair is thrown up in a haphazard bun or something similar, and I'm usually barefoot. The only time that I take a little time to actually apply make up or do my hair, is when my husband and I are going out on a date or something.
The question I always wonder though... is does he deserve more. Of course he does. He deserves to see the woman he fell in love with. A woman who shows pride in herself and her appearance. A woman that makes the extra effort for him. However, my husband is also the type that will see me waking up from a dead sleep, hair matted to my face and horrible morning breath... and still tell me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am.
Needless to say, I'm torn on the issue. I just wonder.... what was the point that I actually stopped caring about my appearance? When was the first time that I woke up on the morning and thought... f*&@ it..... I'll just go like this. Then it became acceptable and it kept on. I believe that it may do with the fact that I feel awful about myself lately. My weight gain and appearance is taking a toll on me and how I present myself to others. I am just too
I'm not saying that I need a face full of make up. I've never done that. I usually throw a thin layer of eyeliner, mascara, and sometimes lipstick. I'm speaking more of my whole overall appearance. Taking care of my body and eating right. Exercising. Taking the time to do my hair and finding clothes that look good on me. I just want my husband to know that he's worth the extra few minutes it takes me to get ready. Because he is. My children are worth the extra few minutes. I.... am worth the extra few minutes.
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