Number
Age is nothing but a number... or so they say. In my case, well, in everyone's case, these numbers seem to be climbing at a rapid rate. Tomorrow marks another trip around the Earth for me, and I turn 39 years old. Thirty. Nine.
I honestly never thought about aging much before. I never thought about what it would be like to be older and actually look or feel older. In my head, I'm still in my late teens/early twenties. When I look in the mirror, I still don't see a 39 year old woman... until I look closer.
Upon closer inspection, I see the fine lines in my face. I can see the bunch of lines around my mouth. I see the collection of lines around my eyes. I see the wisps of gray hair that peek out while I'm in between root touch-ups with my hair dye. Not only can I see the tell-tale signs of aging, but I feel them as well. I feel as though my energy has dropped significantly... even worse than normal. I hear my joints crack and pop when I move after long periods, sounding like a small child eating a bowl of Rice Crispies. I feel aches and pains that seem to linger around longer than they should. I see skin that is submitting to a downwards gravitational pull. Let's face it... growing older is terrifying.
Honestly though, I'm turning 39, not 79. I'm really not that old, in the grand scheme of things. 39 is still young enough. Fingers crossed, I should still have a good 50% of my life left toenjoy live. Many people believe that these years that are rapidly approaching, are some of the best years. In a few years, I'll be able to let my bodily functions fly without giving it a single thought, or giving a single fuck. I'll be able to voice my opinions without a lot of arguing (who argues with an old lady, huh?). I'll be able to sit around and be lazy, which truly is the part that I'm looking forward to the most. Or I'll be able to travel, take up hobbies, so many things.
Still though, I feel as though my mortality is breathing down my neck. I'm getting to the point where people around me are dying and it's making me stop and think... That. Could. Be. Me. I could literally go at any second. Yes, yes, I know... I'm only 39, but it's always a possibility. Of course I could also get cartwheeled over a car in the parking lot by a teenager on her cellphone.
Whatever. Just the confused rantings of an old woman.
Carry on.
I honestly never thought about aging much before. I never thought about what it would be like to be older and actually look or feel older. In my head, I'm still in my late teens/early twenties. When I look in the mirror, I still don't see a 39 year old woman... until I look closer.
Upon closer inspection, I see the fine lines in my face. I can see the bunch of lines around my mouth. I see the collection of lines around my eyes. I see the wisps of gray hair that peek out while I'm in between root touch-ups with my hair dye. Not only can I see the tell-tale signs of aging, but I feel them as well. I feel as though my energy has dropped significantly... even worse than normal. I hear my joints crack and pop when I move after long periods, sounding like a small child eating a bowl of Rice Crispies. I feel aches and pains that seem to linger around longer than they should. I see skin that is submitting to a downwards gravitational pull. Let's face it... growing older is terrifying.
Honestly though, I'm turning 39, not 79. I'm really not that old, in the grand scheme of things. 39 is still young enough. Fingers crossed, I should still have a good 50% of my life left to
Still though, I feel as though my mortality is breathing down my neck. I'm getting to the point where people around me are dying and it's making me stop and think... That. Could. Be. Me. I could literally go at any second. Yes, yes, I know... I'm only 39, but it's always a possibility. Of course I could also get cartwheeled over a car in the parking lot by a teenager on her cellphone.
Whatever. Just the confused rantings of an old woman.
Carry on.
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